I don’t want to raise selfish humans. Period. I also don’t want to be a selfish human.
But sometimes, in little moments of the day, I see a sense of ingratitude in my kids, or in myself, and it infuriates me. Then I wonder, where have we gone so wrong that these hooligans (whom I love dearly) can come into a room, demand a snack and turn around and walk away, without a shred of decency or even the thought that perhaps a please and thank you might be in order? Or that I can simply complain and gripe my way through an entire day without an ounce of gratitude for the simplest of things?
And how, in a world full of instant gratification, indulgence, wealth, consumerism(to which I’m often a slave) technology that offers us everything we “need” at the touch of a button, and entitlement, do we teach our kids, and our grown selves, gratitude?
Practice.
We must practice the art of gratitude daily. In the deepest valley’s and on the highest peaks of life. Through the scrubbing of the throw up to the late night half awake feedings. From the unruly teen to the terminal parent, we must practice this act of gratitude. We must come back to the root, to the worship, which reminds us that it is not at all about us. It’s about Him. The one who made us and gave us breath. And when we practice this art of gratitude every day, by speaking them allowed or putting pen to paper specific things we are grateful for, change happens.
“Practice is the hardest part of learning, and training is the essence of transformation.” ~Ann Voskamp
One of my favorite books on gratitude and thanks is One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I wrestle with this issue often, of gratitude, specifically in our children, of raising them to understand what they have and more importantly, to hold it all loosely. To be willing to give it. To be willing to lay it all down for the sake of Christ. But is this my heart? Do I hold loosely to things? Or do I constantly strive to consume more, have more, be more, do more, and never settle into where God has me right now? Giving thanks for my daily bread, not worrying about what’s to come or striving for more, but giving thanks for what I have, today. This is the heart position I need to hold.
Ann talks about a word in the book called eucharisteo…..thanksgiving, and how this act of giving thanks always comes before a miracle. The miracle, really, is a heart change. A shift in focus. A change in the position of our souls to welcome whatever comes into our lives with open arms, whether the mundane act of cleaning the toilets, again, to sharing the gospel with someone across the street to finally feeling grateful for a valley because we realize that’s where the beautiful things grow. The trees don’t grow at the Summit of the mountain, they grow in the valley where the ground is fertile and lush and the soil can support new growth. You can’t see the breathtaking view or the destination from here, in this valley, but you can rest knowing that what’s being planted in the valley will reap a harvest of fruit.
This eucharist word is also connected to the words gratitude, to show favor, grace, and my favorite, to rejoice. What in the world does rejoicing have to do with gratitude?
I would say everything.
I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes, hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive!
Oh, I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes, hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive!
~Bethel
We often tell our kids, at least the older two(because this is a hard concept to grasp) that changes in behavior start with changes in their hearts. Setting your mind to change something that is a habit or struggle or even a part of your personality takes more than just a strong dose of self-discipline. It takes a heart change. It takes action, and practice. And when it comes to gratitude, it’s all in the position of our hearts. When we are rejoicing, we can not in fact be ungrateful. You can’t rejoice and feel ingratitude at the same time. So raise up your hallelujah, in all the things.
Preceding the thanks, always comes rejoicing. Praise. Worship. If our hearts are in a position to worship and praise the one who gives and the one who also takes away, if we can rejoice in either of those scenarios, we can give thanks for whatever comes. We can give thanks for the laundry or the sick child or the struggling marriage, because God does not leave us in these desolate places alone. He promises His presence to those that accept Him, and He promises to come in and do a work in our lives, right down to adjusting the position of our hearts to be that of gratitude and thanksgiving.
“Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.” ~AV
Does it mean we always understand? No. Does it mean it’s always fair? I don’t know. God is a fair God, a just God, a gracious God. I know that. So although our circumstances don’t always seem fair, we have to trust that they serve a purpose. They help us grow, change our perspectives, and draw us closer to the heart of God.
“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust.” ~AV
So choose joy. Choose thanks. Choose gratitude. Choose to rejoice. We’ve been given this amazing ability to choose how we respond to the life we’ve been given. I want to respond well. To respond with thanksgiving even when I don’t feel it, because then, with the release of ourselves and the open arms to accept what comes, we will experience the miracle, the blessing that comes with a heart that chooses to give thanks.
“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” ~AV
by: Kelly Anderson