“Speak Lord, I am listening.”

The last two years of my husband, Mark’s life, we were homebound—much like many of you have been since mid-March. He was in a hospital bed 24/7. Due to that, we were unable to attend church, like many of you the past two months. Just prior to our “confinement,” a friend gave me a little booklet entitled, God Guides. It was written by Mary Geegh, a missionary to India for over 30 years. The booklet is her journal illustrating the power of listening prayer. In other words, being still and listening for God to speak instead of spending all your time talking to God.

Over the last two years of Mark’s life, I had time to listen. We could not attend church, so I took advantage of that time to sit and listen for God to speak. I began recording in a journal what I felt God was saying to me.

One morning this past April, I felt the Lord saying you have been confined due to this pandemic, yet you have not been still—listening for My voice. So, I sat and listened. I did so again last week, but as I opened my journal, I glanced back at the April recording and was amazed at what God had said, and how He has helped me obey and live out His directives. Here is what was recorded:

“Father, here we are 4 weeks into a quarantine due to COVID19. I have no schedule, no deadlines, and all the time in the world—yet, I have not sat and listened for what You wanted to say to me during this “lockdown.” In fact, looking back in my journal, I have not been “still” since the last day of 2019. Shame on me! I am so sorry. When Mark was living, each Sunday I sat listening. I was on “lockdown” then as well—yet, I was attentive. Could it be that I have become independent, self-sufficient, gone my own way, not allowing time in my schedule to be still and listen for Your voice? Lord, what is it in these days of this pandemic that You want to say to me? What are You wanting to teach me? Speak Lord, I am listening.”

“My child.” “Yes, Lord.” “Look around, the world is still, the world is attentive, the world is fearful. The world is united in many ways, yet people are divided. They are in their homes with families separated, churches separated, political parties separated, and all because of a virus. Their rights have been removed and fear promoted. Where are My people? In their holy huddles within their houses—many fearful, many soaking up the news—but not My Word. Many listening to the voices of the world—but not My voice. I am testing my children’s faithfulness. Do they believe that I am in control or that COVID19 is in control? I have a sovereign and divine purpose for everything that exist in this world. I determine your days. Will my church be found faithful or lacking in faith when I send testing and trials? Are My children using these day to show My love and share the gospel that will set people free from the bondage of sin and fear? My child, choose a spirit of love—not judgement—a spirit of compassion—not neglect. Look for ways to utilize this time of testing. Do not be distracted by it, lean in to Me, be still—listen. I will show you what to do. My Spirit will guide and direct you.”

“Father, I am sorry for wasting these days in so many ways. I am sorry for not leaning in hard to see and hear what You want from me.” “My child.” “ Yes, Lord.” “I love you.” “I love you, Father.”

“When man listens, God speaks; when man obeys, God acts; when God acts; men (women) change.”

Mary Geegh