I guess being at this old lake cabin for several days has made me nostalgic! When we step inside we are flooded with memories. Our daughter commented that the cabin even smells like Grandma Nell, who died this past March. The pictures scattered around on end tables, dressers, hung on walls, and placed in photo albums are a reminder of just how quickly life goes by. When I was a young married I remember those older in the family saying, “Life goes by in a flash. Enjoy your youth.” I didn’t adhere to their advice, and now I am where they were, middle aged.
What youthfulness I see when I look at pictures of Mark and me from the 70’s and early 80’s; what immaturity and aimlessness marked our lives. I was 17, and Mark was 22 when we married, so very young, and yet so very much in love that we could not imagine ourselves apart. There was so much growing up to be done those first few years. I remember the day that he was trying to teach me to drive a stick-shift. I was mature in many ways for my age, yet very immature in other ways. When I was not able to master something right away, I became extremely frustrated and would just give up.
It was 1975, and we lived in Beaumont, Texas, where Mark was in the insurance business with his granddaddy. Our first new car purchase was a burnt orange Mazda with a manual transmission. Cool car! Mark had taught me to drive as we were dating, so he thought for sure that he could teach me how to drive this car. I started out okay, not too much jerking. But after time, I found it hard to locate the one specific spot where the brake was in and the clutch engaged, to the point that I was able to keep the car steady on an incline. Getting the car in first gear without the engine dying made me very frustrated. We were sitting at a stop sign and I asked him if it was clear to my right; he told me to look and then if it was, to pull out. I was so nervous about pulling out that I said, “I’m just going,” and so I let up on the clutch, released the brake and gunned it without looking. Mark’s response to scaring him to death and my immature actions was to reach over and pop me. I immediately began to cry, and then I crawled into my hole. He tried to apologize, but it was too late. I immediately turned the driving over to him. It was several days before I opened up and was willing to talk about it and accept his apology. Not a very mature reaction on my part. It seemed for several years that when he hurt me, I turned inward. His response to my closing up like a flower was to try and dig the problem out, but the deeper he tried to dig, the further down I buried the hurt. As I said, we had a lot of growing up to do!
I think about the aimlessness of our lives, especially those first eleven years. We were running after the world and away from Christ, seeking money, success, and fame. It wasn’t until the economic bottom fell out in Houston, Texas, due to the oil crash, that God got our attention. When we moved to Houston, Mark was one of two of the youngest men ever to be a General Agent with New England Life Insurance Company, quite an accomplishment and honor. We’d both grown up going to church, but neither of us was living a godly life. Neither Mark nor I had a personal relationship with Christ. We could talk the talk and we knew all about church, but nothing about being a born-again Christian. The financial success was nice, but our marriage and our lives were empty and aimless.
In 1984, something happened that changed us forever. Our lives and our marriage gained new purpose, direction, and value when we both gave our hearts and lives to Jesus Christ. Looking back, I think about the immature ways in which I handled so many situations in our marriage those first years; I regret the time wasted and the energy spent fighting and holding offenses against Mark. Looking back, I think about the aimlessness of our lives those first years chasing after the world, and I regret the wasted days, weeks, and years, as well as the energy and resources that could have been used for eternal purposes.
I guess the advantage of being over mid-way through life, is that you are able to look back and see those things that if you could, you would change. But then, Mark has said many times, “There is no do over in life.” He is right! God gives us one opportunity to live this life. If I could give advice to those younger than we are, I would agree with Mark’s aunts and uncles who told us that, “Life goes by in a flash, enjoy your youth,” but I would add these additional things:
- Daily seek diligently after Christ.
- Invest your time knowing Christ through knowing His word.
- Take time to laugh.
- Forgive continually- never hold offenses toward one another.
- Make up quickly after a difference of opinion- making up is much more fun than fighting!
- Don’t hold grudges- do not let the sun go down without resolving differences.
- Have fun- lots of it!
- Wait on insignificant things that are really not as important as spending time with those you love.
- Give more away to those in need.
- Spend less, invest more.
- Be content.
- Give away hugs and kisses to those you love as much as possible.
- Treasure every day, because you never know when it might be your last.
What a nostalgic weekend I had at the little yellow lake cabin and what a reminder that this life is short and without Christ it is worth very little.
Father, help me to keep You first and foremost in my life. Help me to make everyday count for You and Your kingdom. Mature me beyond little offenses and help me to forgive freely those I love. Prioritize my days so that I keep You first, others second, and work and responsibilities third. Give me eyes to see those in need, those hurting, those who need a word of encouragement, and do not allow my busyness to blind me from the needs of others. Give me a generous heart and spirit. I want to appear before You Father with my arms full and a legacy left behind that will draw future generations to You.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).
“Therefore, since we have so great cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have” (Hebrews 13:5a).