Since we sold our home and began this incredible journey with the Lord, I have tucked my corner chair in four different corners over the past five years. As I reflect back on each of those places, I realize the valuable work He has done in my life as I met with Him in those master bedroom corners. Each one was a place of learning and a place where God was molding and shaping me into the person He desired me to be.
We thought when we drove into the driveway for the first time of rental house #1 that it was where God wanted us. It didn’t make sense for this have everything beautiful, lots of sunlight and as new as possible girl. The house was old and the main family room was very dark. It hadn’t been remodeled in years and was on a heavily traveled road. The night we moved out of our beautiful new home to take up residence in this older home, I didn’t look back, not one tear was shed. That, in itself, was a miracle, because a few years earlier when we moved into our new and beautiful home, I cried for several weeks after leaving our previous home of fourteen years. Now looking back to our time in our new and beautiful home, I can see that God allowed me to have what I thought I wanted and certainly felt I deserved, but never truly enjoyed.
Once settled into the older rental, I believed God was going to make a way for us to stay there permanently. Little did I know God had four more moves ahead of me! It was in that house that God taught me the concept of waiting on Him and just what complete and total surrender are to look like. Through many sleepless nights and an abundance of tears, it took every bit of the twenty months we lived there to learn how vital it was for me to surrender to where God had us, and to be willing to wait on Him. What can I say, I’m a slow learner!
At the news of having to move again, we attempted to purchase a home, but every door closed. We had a friend, who approached us and said that he felt the Lord leading him to raise enough money for us to buy a home, but he was not sure how long it would take him; in the meantime we needed a place to live. So, the Lord provided rental house #2, which was smaller but newer than the first house. Smaller was okay because I didn’t think we’d be there long. We stored what the house would not hold and set up our temporary home. Having settled the issue of surrendering and waiting on the Lord in house #1, I struggled with having a settled peace as to the place in which we found ourselves, no home of our own, every house getting smaller, and Mark’s condition worsening. He was now falling some and was very unsteady on his feet. He was struggling with his speech. We were beginning to see more and more signs of the condition that was affecting his body. Although surrendered and willing to wait, I was filled with fear and panic. In my corner chair of that smaller home, over a total of yet another twenty months, filled with many sleepless and tear-filled nights, God began to give me peace. He was asking me to trust Him with what I could not see. He had it all under control. What a beautiful thing peace; you cannot define it, you cannot explain it, but somehow it sustains, it strengthens and carries you through the most difficult of life’s circumstances; it is supernatural.
After twenty months in house #2 and our friend unable to raise the total amount needed to purchase a home, we found ourselves facing another move. We received a call from the owner; her husband had accepted a job in Memphis and they would be moving back, which meant we would be moving out! Once again, we thought we might buy a home, but God closed every door. We needed a place to live with immediate occupancy and a place where Mark would be safe. The local seminary had apartments available, so we checked into those and a three bedroom was available. We moved in, what belongings would not fit into the third bedroom, went into storage. The apartment, once again smaller than our previous place, would be temporary, although I did not know just how temporary! I wasn’t prepared for the adjustment to apartment living; it had nothing to do with the size, the location, or the neighbors; it was my pride! How humiliating that after thirty-nine years of marriage we were returning to where we began- an apartment! Obviously, you can see the work God was about to do in my tightly squeezed in corner chair of rental #3, not to mention in my heart! Over those four months, before we received our notice that we would have to move, God began to strip away the pride in my life. It was in that apartment that I learned to be, as Paul says, “content in whatever state I am in.” I’m grateful for that apartment and the lessons learned there!
We weren’t planning on yet another move; our intent was to have a home of our own at the end of our apartment stay. Once again we attempted to purchase a house, but the doors closed. Faced with a short move-out date, we located a cluster home to rent around the corner from the apartment. It was bigger than the apartment, yet smaller than both houses we had rented. We prepared once again to move; master packers we had become! In this our fourth rental in four years, I had the biggest corner of all in which to tuck my corner chair, and in this place God helped me to complete a calling to write the curriculum for the Secrets ministry. In that cluster home, He taught us both the reward of surrendering and waiting on Him.
This past June, after wandering in this desert almost five years, we moved into our very own home. I was excited to see what God had for me here, in this home, where I once again placed my corner chair and am listening attentively to His voice. God has given us so many promises over these many months and not one has He failed to keep. I was recently reading in Joshua where he divides up the land among the tribes of Israel. God had promised this land to the children of Israel generations before through Moses, and now he was fulfilling His promise through Joshua. I thought it interesting that once the land was divided, God gave the children rest. “So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to their forefathers, and they took possession of it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as He had sworn to their forefathers…Not one of the promises to the house of Israel failed; everyone was fulfilled.” Joshua 21:43&45
I am enjoying the rest God is giving to me. Not rest from listening, obeying, or growing, but rest from moving, and rest from the unsettled state of the desert. My heart is full because of what He has done, and my heart is full as I look ahead in anticipation of what the Father has in store for us. If you look physically at our place in life it would seem bleak, but if you look through His eyes, the days ahead are going to be glorious because He is already there! Psalm 145 summarizes the journey of the past five years and my heart of love, gratitude, and submission to a Father who loves me and wants only what is best for me!
“I will extol You, my God, O King, and I will bless Your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless You, and I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and highly to be praised, and His greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of Your majesty and on Your wonderful works, I will meditate. Men shall speak of the power of Your awesome acts, and I will tell of Your greatness.
They shall eagerly utter the memory of Your abundant goodness and will shout joyfully of Your righteousness. The Lord is gracious and merciful; Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness. The Lord is good to all, and His mercies are over all His works. All Your works shall give thanks to You, O Lord, and Your godly ones shall bless You. They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom and talk of Your power; To make known to the sons of men Your mighty acts and the glory of the majesty of Your kingdom. Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion endures throughout all generations. The Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food in due time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds. The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them. The Lord keeps all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy. My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, and all flesh will bless His holy name forever and ever.”
Father, I am so grateful for the journey you set us on almost seven years ago, for it has been the desert in which you have chosen to teach us and mold us. Every corner I have placed my chair these years, You have met me there. Thank you for faithfully speaking daily to me as I sit in my corner chair. Continue Your work!
dianne