A year ago, my husband and I bought a fixer upper, and when I say fixer upper, I mean we walked in the house and “ewww” was the nicest thing we could say. It was in the county and neighborhood we wanted and because it had been vacant for five years, it was also in the price range we wanted. Thankfully, and only by the grace of God, we were able to see past “ewww” to the potential this house had. The floor plan, the yard, the porch… all things my JoAnna Gaines want-to-be self was looking for. This house required a lot of work, not to mention that I had shoulder surgery two days prior to signing our contract! God was gracious and provided the right help as we began the renovation process. Within a month, our house was move in ready. Because I was in a very large sling that first month, there was very little that I could do to help. I remember walking around the house the night they finished painting, in awe of the transformation. As I walked through my new house, looking at the new floors and the freshly painted walls (walls that were once hideously occupied with creepy angels and flowers and clouds- I kid you not), the Lord revealed to me that this was not only my new home, but a new tool He was giving us to use for His glory.
As the weeks went by and we settled into our new home, I began my favorite task: decorating. As I dove into the decorative process, God continued to place the word “haven” on my mind. I wasn’t just decorating walls, I was creating a haven for anyone who walked through my doors. Haven is defined as “a harbor, port, a place of safety and refuge, a place offering favorable opportunities or conditions.” This home that God had graciously provided was to be used as a safe place. My home was to become a place for tired mommas who need a play date, hungry college students who need a home cooked meal, teenagers who need a safe place to hang out, missionaries that need a place to stay while in town, hurting friends that need to talk, sweet grandmothers that need to enjoy the chaos of kids because their grands are miles away, etc. God had given us this home as a tool for pointing others to Him.
Let me just say this: you don’t need a new renovation or a fresh coat of paint on the walls for your home to be a haven. You don’t even need to have a large home! Our home is an average size. It’s nothing big or fancy. Making a home a haven is not about what you can buy, but the attitude and condition of your heart. Having a heart that is surrendered to the Lord and a willingness to open your door to others- that’s what creates a haven.
John 13:34- Jesus tells us, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
What are we called to do? LOVE. He didn’t ask us to wait until everything is perfect, He simply commands us to love.
In order to give this love, we must first understand it. There is nothing good in me apart from Jesus. He is the only reason I can love others. He is the only reason I can open my doors freely. True hospitality starts at the cross. Being able to create a haven starts with realizing you’re a sinner in need of a Savior. It’s the Savior’s love that allows you to say, “How can I create a safe space for my family, and for others?”
Everything we do should be an overflow of our love for Jesus.
Our homes don’t need to be perfect. Friends, hear my heart on this: a cute home is nice to look at and clean floors are a gift! But more than nicely decorated walls or a spot free home, people need a safe place to be themselves. A friend of mine said it well, “I want to choose to focus on the way my home feels rather than how it looks.” When we choose to make our homes a haven, He is faithful to provide opportunities for us to introduce our guests to Him.
As we gear up for possibly the craziest time of year, let me ask you this: are you creating a home that’s a haven or a home of havoc? A haven is restful and refreshing. A home of havoc is chaotic and stressful.
I get it. There is a lot to do this time of year! Many of us are just trying to survive. We can choose, even amongst the chaos, to protect our schedules. When we say yes to one thing, we’re saying no to another. So rather than saying yes to another activity, say yes to creating a safe place for your family and for others.
I pray that our motivation for everything we do this Christmas season (and every other season!) would be LOVE.
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at meal time, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.
(1 Corinthians 13: A Christmas Version- Unknown Author)
Friends, I pray this Christmas season will find us loving Jesus, creating a haven and enjoying our people.
*image from parentmap.com