Let’s face it, women can be extremely hard on themselves. I have talked with many young women who are defeated and struggling with feelings of failure. With the advent and accessibility of technology, women are more defeated than ever. With the push of a button, we come face to face with the fact that we are not as happy or as thin as everyone else, we have a smaller home, we take less trips or no trips, our kids are a hand-full, and our life is uneventful—on and on I could go.
What is lacking? I think three things: grace, laughter, and contentment.
We offer grace to family, friends, and co-workers—but not to ourselves. By grace, I mean kindness and mercy. In other words, give yourself a break! Stop comparing yourself with others on social media and stop believing the lies Satan is whispering in your ear. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you (God), because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your (God’s) works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Did you know that there is only one you and only one set of fingerprints like yours? God does everything well including creating you! He made you special.
Feelings of failure and inadequacy can lead to self-pity. When we wallow in self-pity (feeling sorry for ourselves), it is hard to have peace and joy and it’s hard to laugh and celebrate life. One way to avoid the pit of self-pity is to take a meal to someone, send a card of encouragement, invite a friend to lunch, watch a funny movie with your family, etc. My husband, Mark, was ill for eleven years. At times, I was tempted and sometimes gave way to feeling sorry for myself. But, God helped me to see that self-pity was robbing me of peace and my ability to enjoy life—to laugh.
Five years into Mark’s illness, we were living in a rental, our fourth in 4 years. We were able to use the garage for storage. I was in the garage arranging boxes, when I decided to move the grill. I raised the end without wheels in order to move it, and suddenly water began pouring out the hole at the tilted end. The grill had been on a patio in our prior rental. So, I naturally thought rain water had gotten in it. I held the grill for one minute, then two, then five. I kept thinking what an amazing amount of water a grill could hold. My arms got tired so I sat it down. The water kept pouring out. I looked along the wall and saw a stream of water pouring from a faucet—I had accidently bumped it when I picked up the grill. I was embarrassed and quickly looked around to see if anyone had been watching—then I burst out laughing. I could have thought, “How stupid, Dianne.” But I just stood there and laughed at myself. It felt good to laugh at myself, to enjoy the moment and sharing it allows you a good laugh! Proverbs 15:13a says, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face.” ESV
As women, we need to exercise grace toward ourselves, exchange self-pity for peace and joy (laughter), and learn to be content with whom God created us to be. I’m not sure if it’s my age or just that I have learned to relax about life, but I find it easier to offer myself grace, laugh at myself, and be content with the woman God created me to be. Perhaps it’s because I don’t spend hours surfing social media—just saying!
“The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.” Chuck Swindoll
Dianne
photo by Emily Megan Photography