Mark and I have so much fun visiting our daughter, Kelly, and her family in Dallas. Every time we go, it seems that the boys have grown at least two inches taller, and Lila, who is now nineteen months old, has acquired more and more words. This particular visit, we were amazed at the increase in her vocabulary. The way in which she pronounced each word and placed them into sentences was adorable! One statement that was new to us was, “I saw-ee.” I began to notice every time she tripped over a toy, ran into a piece of furniture, or dropped her Goldfish or food from her tray, she would turn to us and say, “I saw-ee, I saw-ee.”
One afternoon, we were out on the driveway playing basketball with the boys. Lila approached the edge of the steep driveway with a ball in her hand. As her mother was yelling, “Lila, no! Do not throw the ball down the driveway,” she turned looking at us, grinned, and promptly threw the ball down the driveway. Her brothers were also yelling at her not to throw the ball, lest one of them have to retrieve it! But, she just grinned at them and threw it anyway. Down it rolled across the cul-de-sac and out into the main road, aimlessly wandering along the gutter further and further away from the house. After Lila watched the ball disappear down the street, she turned looking directly at us, grinned and said, “I saw-ee. I saw-ee.”
As cute as her “I saw-ee” was, at that moment I had a strong sense she was not at all remorseful about her actions, even though she had apologized for what she had done. In the days since our visit, I’ve pondered Lila’s actions and her lack of true remorse in the midst of her apology. I was reminded of David’s defiant actions in turning away from God’s commands. He chose to stay behind instead of assuming his responsibility as King and going to battle with his men. That one decision led him to be on the roof and in a position for falling into sin with the woman next door, Bathsheba. His sin of adultery led to the sin of murder, killing Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah. David knew God’s word, His commands, yet he ignored God’s word, just as Lila ignored her mommy’s words.
Through the prophet, Nathan, God confronts David, “Why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon.”
In 2 Samuel 12:13, we see David’s repentant spirit. “Then David said to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the Lord.’” In the second part of that verse we see God’s mercy and forgiveness, “And Nathan said to David, ‘The Lord also has taken away your sin; you shall not die.’”
In Psalm 32 we see David’s confession, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’; and You forgave the guilt of my sin.” David was truly saw-ee!
At times, the Holy Spirit has said, “Dianne, keep your mouth shut, do not say that.” Yet, I ignored His voice and spoke, just to regret it! He has said, “Dianne, you don’t need to buy that…” Yet, I ignored His voice and made the purchase, just to regret having spent the money. As much as I would like to focus on David’s sins and his decision to ignore God’s voice, there have been many times that I’ve chosen my own way and ignored the voice of my Father; afterwards offering up a half-hearted, “I saw-ee. I saw-ee.”
Father, when I sin against You, may I be broken, truly repentant, offering up a genuine apology, not just a thoughtless, “I saw-ee. I saw-ee.” How thankful I am that when I choose to ignore Your voice and sin, Your spirit convicts me, prompting me to turn away from my flesh and back to You. How grateful I am that You in Your loving-kindness offer grace and forgiveness, placing me back into a right relationship with You, My gracious heavenly Father.
“The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”1 John 1:9