I was asked to step out into the hallway as they prepped Mark for a test, one that would determine if his condition is beginning to affect his bladder. The hallway was narrow, and I found myself dodging nurses and doctors as they went from one examining room to another. Mark’s attending nurse, Terry, had stepped out into the hall as well. She had shown such respect and gentleness toward him during the preparation for the test. I sensed she knew how nervous and uncomfortable he was. We quietly waited and anticipated what was to come. The doctor momentarily stepped back into the room with Mark to make adjustments to the computer and testing machine, and then returned to the hallway for a moment or two.
Before he re-entered the room, we exchanged little pleasantries as we waited for the machine to reveal what was taking place within the bladder. I asked about his wife and children, and he gladly shared all about them. He asked about Mark’s condition and I explained just what it was and what the doctors at Mayo Clinic had diagnosed six years previously. It was time for him to check the results, so he went back into the room. Terry and I waited a few minutes longer. I stood there praying and trying desperately to trust God and not just fall apart. I prayed, “Oh Lord, please don’t let this be the news we have dreaded. Touch the bladder and protect it from being affected by this condition.” As I was praying, the doctor opened the door and instructed Terry to help Mark with all the prods attached to his body. She entered the examining room, and there I stood face to face with this young doctor. He said, “I am sorry.” I knew what was coming and for a split second I had a decision to make: would I trust God even though He hadn’t answered my prayers in the way in which I wanted Him to? At that very moment I found myself wavering between belief and unbelief. I had prayed, knowing that He promised to hear and answer, and yet He chose to answer according to His will and purpose, not mine! Would I continue to trust Him and believe that He knows best for us?
In Daniel 3:15-18, Daniel and his two friends, Meshach and Abed-nego, had two decisions to make. Would they bow down to the King’s idol, knowing that if they refused, they would be thrown into the fiery furnace? If thrown in, would they trust God to deliver them?
“Then Nebuchadnezzar in rage and anger gave orders to bring Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego; then these men were brought before the king. Nebuchadnezzar responded and said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego that you do not serve my gods or worship the golden image that I have set up? Now if you are ready, at the moment you hear the sound of the horn, flute, lyre, trigon, psaltery and bagpipe and all kinds of music, to fall down and worship the image that I have made, very well. But if you do not worship, you will immediately be cast into the midst of a furnace of blazing fire; and what god is there who can deliver you out of my hands?” Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”
Did these three men want to be thrown into the fiery furnace? Absolutely not! Did they pray that God would keep them from having to enter the fiery furnace? Absolutely they did! Were they willing to go into the furnace and trust God to deliver them? Absolutely they were!
In this life, we will all have times where for a second, we will have a decision to make: will we or will we not trust God? Will we trust Him even if He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way in which we had hoped that He would? These three men resolved to trust God, no matter what. Mark and I are resolved to trust God, no matter what!
Is it painful? Yes!
Is it sad and lonely at times? Yes!
Do we get discouraged? Yes!
Has God taken care of us over these six years? Yes!
Has God proven Himself to be faithful? Yes!
Does He hear our prayers? Yes!
Will we trust Him? Yes!
Father, how loving, patient and gracious you are! Thank you that I can trust you with every aspect of my life, even when I cannot see what You are doing or the purpose for which you are allowing difficulty to enter my life. Help me in that split second of decision to choose to trust You, knowing that You know what is best for me. Let the resolve of my life be to trust You in all things!
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; the God of my strength, in whom I will trust.” 2 Samuel 22:2a
“For He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; nor has He hidden His face from Him; but when He cried to Him, He heard.” Psalm 22:24
“The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.” Nahum 1:7
dianne