Now, on any given week I could just weep at the thought of facing my weekly grocery trip to Wal-mart; especially on a Saturday, Sunday, or pay day. I am certain I’m not the only woman who feels this way about her weekly Wal-mart run. I brave it, because when it comes to some items, I save a great deal of money. Last Thursday proved to be a different kind of shopping day at Wal-mart. Mark and I had just left the doctor’s office, where we had received some distressing news related to his condition. We were told that his condition had begun to affect a major organ. I took the news very hard, knowing that one by one his organs would be affected. What we had hoped and prayed would not happen, was happening. As we drove toward Wal-mart, here and there a tear drop would find its way to the edge of my eye and slowly run down my cheek. For Mark’s sake, I was trying not to break out weeping; I knew he was devastated by the news as well.
Once inside the store I found myself anchored against the display of mangoes with my head down, weeping. People were passing by, reaching around me to get a mango or two, and generally taking care of their grocery needs, without a thought to the weeping woman by the mango display. I began to return texts to family and friends who were wanting to know what the doctor had said. The more I texted, the more I wept, tears dripping from the end of my nose onto my phone. After several minutes I heard a voice, “Dianne, get it together! You have to get it together. Mark is sitting in a hot car; you need to get your things and get out of here.” I looked for a tissue, wiped my face, and moved toward the freezer section. It seemed with each turn of a corner, my eyes would well up once again. The pain and grief inside of me was fighting to get out. I determined to take an aisle at a time. I did manage to get out of the store without falling completely apart in front of the whole Wal-mart community.
I’ve thought about that day, now a week later, and wondered how many Wal-mart weeping and hurting women anchored on a mango display, have I ignored due to my quest to get in and conquer my grocery list. A few days ago, I was talking to a young lady and telling her about my weeping day in Wal-mart and she said, “That has been me. I have wept in Wal-mart as well, and not because I had to shop there.” You see she has experienced devastating news about one of her children and the news has caused her to hurt and weep, even while shopping at Wal-mart. Although surrounded by people, there are times when we can feel all alone in our pain. I believe the less people notice our hurt, even when displayed in front of them, the greater our loneliness and pain. I was surrounded by people that day, yet I sensed that I was alone and no one cared.
God showed up at Wal-mart that day to reveal to me that He cared and that He loved me; I was not alone in my pain. As I was making my way to the check-out line- another reason to weep- God reminded me of the love gift He had given us just an hour before. As we were leaving the doctor’s office, someone called out to us. As we turned to see who it was, we saw Mike, a friend and deacon at our church. He walked up to us on the sidewalk. I was anchored just behind Mark’s right shoulder and when I saw Mike, I began to weep quietly. He could see that I was crying, but Mark could not. He greeted us and asked if he could wrap his arms around us and pray for us. We said yes. He did, and what a sweet prayer that brought peace to our hearts. When he finished, he told us that his company had placed the AC unit in the doctor’s office building, and that he had dropped by to check some problems they were having. Standing at the grocery checkout, I remembered those moments with Mike. I realized that God sent him to us to show us that He cared, that He had not forgotten us, we were not alone and that He placed Mike there on that sidewalk, at that moment, to show us just how much He loved us. “For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22b-23
I may have more days ahead of weeping in Wal-mart, but I know that although surrounded by people, I am not alone!
Father, thank you that even when devastating news comes and we are overwhelmed with heartache and grief, You are there! We are never alone when we are Yours. Lord, help me to always trust You. Help me to trust the way in which You choose to work and the story you choose to write with our lives. Give me eyes to see the weeping women in Wal-mart and to take the time to reach out and share Your love, as You used Mike ( put name of person God used in your life) to reach out to us.
“ The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears…Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man (woman) who trusts in Him…The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry.” Psalm 34:4,8, and 15
dianne