It was a beautifully clear windy Oklahoma morning and unusually cool for the end of July. I decided to take advantage of the weather and go for a morning walk. I was on the last leg back to the little cabin that Mark’s parents purchased some thirty years ago, when I spotted ahead of me a large doe running across the gravel road and leaping over a fence into the tall grassy field. Then I noticed more movement, two babies following behind their mommy. It was as if they applied their breaks as they approached the fence, realizing that they did not have the ability to jump it.
I watched as the mother deer leaped through the tall grass assuming the babies were following her. Her strength of legs and years of experience had enabled her to jump right over the fence. She came to a sudden stop; looking back she could see that her little ones were stuck on the other side of the fencing that ran along the gravel road. Returning to them, it was as if she said, “Duck your head, come under the fence and follow me.” One immediately made its way under the fence; the second one ran back and forth along the fence uncertain of following his sibling. The doe was patient as she waited for number two to realize that the best way to be with mom and brother was to go under the fence. Once reunited, they leaped through the tall grass towards the woods. I climbed atop a boulder to observe the sight of this doe and her two little ones following their mommy, trusting her to show them the way and to protect them from any harm.
I thought about my years of parenting and the fact that my daughters followed me and trusted me. Reflecting back, there are several things I would have done differently, if only I had known they were following. Now I realize it sounds silly to say, “if only I had known they were following.” But, I was not aware of the impact I was having until they were grown and began to see the negative things about myself manifested in them. I believe the saying is “Hindsight is 20/20,” meaning that when we look back things are much clearer than when we are in the midst of them. I would have been more Christ-like, I would have been in the Word daily, I would have prayed more, I would have been more confident in whom God created me to be. I would have been less insecure and critical of myself, more patient with my own development, more forgiving of others, less critical of others, more accepting of the differences between myself and my siblings, more honoring of mine and Mark’s parents, more grateful for God’s blessings, less stingy, more giving. I would have laughed more, waited on the work that “I thought” I had to do in order to play more, and I would have been more grateful for the man God had given me, showing honor where honor was due.
The doe forgot for a moment or two that her little ones were following her. When she realized that they were not with her, she returned to them and helped them make their way to the other side of the fence where she was waiting to run and play with them. Oh, that you and I would realize the incredible responsibility we have to lead the little ones that God has placed under our care. At times we forget that they are following us. You and I are not perfect- therefore we cannot be perfect parents. There is only One perfect parent and if we will seek after Him, His wisdom and direction, He will show us how to be the best godly parent, that we can be. Look back- they are following!
Father, thank you that You have covered over my mistakes as a parent. All that is good in my children is of You! Lord, You, and You alone, can refine and remake me to be the best parent that I can be. Give me wisdom and direction and help me to always be keenly aware that they are following. Help me to follow You as my children and grandchildren follow me.
“The Lord was with Jehoshaphat because he followed the example of his father David’s earlier days and did not seek the Baals, but sought the God of his father, followed His commandments, and did not act as Israel did.” 2 Chronicles 17:3-4
“Make me know your ways , O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day.” Psalm 25:4-5
“Be imitators of me (Paul), just as also I am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1
dianne